Pairing: Spike/Dawn friendship, Spuffy undertones
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Buffy characters. Joss does.
The night air was cool as a soft breeze gently caressed her face. She could hear the distant rumble of car engines, the buzz of scooters, and the sounds of people talking, laughing, and generally living life.
Buffy had left their apartment a few hours ago and seated on their tiny balcony watching Rome continue to thrive despite the darkness that had settled over the city, Dawn was thankful she still had several hours left to fill before Buffy returned home.
Despite the beauty surrounding her and the laughter that filled her days, Dawn welcomed these quiet few hours by herself. They let her stop being “on” all the time and she was finally able to simply relax and just be.
Tonight, like every night Dawn let her gaze drift up towards the stars sprinkled across the night sky. Letting out a soft sigh, she watched as a soft white mist carried itself away from her and slowly dissipate into the night air, as the sweet scent of vanilla filled her senses from the candle she had lit earlier. It was slowly dripping hot wax onto the plate beneath it, creating a lovely pattern of small white drops on the plate’s ceramic surface.
“It’s getting harder…keeping things from her like this.” Dawn said, her voice low despite being alone. “I keep waiting for her to do something, say your name, a word you used to use, anything really…but she doesn’t. She keeps pushing it all away because she would rather make *them* happy than acknowledge her grief.”
Stopping briefly, Dawn wiped at the tears that were flowing down her cheeks angrily, her face flushing red as pent up emotions boiled within her.
“I hate them Spike!” Dawn said with a humorless laugh. “I really hate them. They claim to be her friends but really all they want is for both of us to erase any memory we have of you. It’s not fair! We had a memorial…to remember all of the people we lost that day…Anya…the potentials…Amanda…but nobody mentioned you…it was like you didn’t matter. I guess to *them* you don’t.”
“You matter to us though, but you knew that already.” Dawn whispered sadly as she continued her one-sided conversation. “I talked to Willow, don’t worry I didn’t mention our secret, I just…wanted to know why you haven’t talked to Buffy yet. I told her it was about Mom and that I was asking her because I didn’t want to upset Buffy…stupid Willow bought it. She told me that when the grief is too raw or if the person pushes it away or maybe their simply not ready, but anyway she said that that could block ‘Mom’s’ spirit from getting through. So I know that it’s not like you’re not trying but…maybe Buffy just isn’t ready to see you. That’s okay though I like having you to myself, even though I think it would be nice if Buffy knew that you were happy. Maybe then she’d be able to be happy herself.”
Leaning forward Dawn gently blew out the candle and stood, stretching to get the stiffness out of her limbs. Blowing out the candle she carefully gathered it and the plate it had been resting on. Casting one last glance towards to sky, a gentle smile on her face, Dawn carefully opened their balcony doors, her parting words lingering in the night air.
“Talk to ya later Spike…I love you.”